Aimless...

Hav you ever felt completely aimless? That is how I feel right now. A friend of mine and I were talking about our purpose one day and she said, "what is your sweet spot?" Meaning that whatever your sweet spot is, that is likely your passion and where you'll find purpose. Well, I'd have to say that being a home-maker is my sweet spot. I love being a wife to my husband and taking care of things around here and cooking a hot meal for him at dinner time, but right now he's in Iraq. So... then what?

"Then what?"... that has been the hardest part for me. I feel like a need to get a job. It's not that I'm determined to have a big career... no... really, I'm just bored right now. People ask, "why don't you teach again?" Well, that's easy... I have no desire to. Not right now and who knows if that desire will ever return. Have you read the burn-out rate of teachers???

So I've learned how to decorate cakes and I spent yesterday and today looking for places... catering places to get experience in cooking/catering/cake decorating. Every place I've been to has turned out to be something other than what I've expected. I'm not completely done looking, but I'm tired.

Now I'm looking into volunteer work. I've done volunteer work in the past and did it with a sense of enjoyment. But today, it feels like I'm looking to it out of a need to fill time. I think I'll enjoy it once I start.

God, what do you want me to do? I am tired and I don't know the answer.